Broken the 13 min barrier

Ever since I started jogging, my aim was to break the 13 minute barrier. Initially when I started the 4 KM Jog, my time used to be around 15:45 to 16:30. It would vary and then it started slipping below 16:30, so I chastised myself to push harder and until now my aim was to finish my jog under 14:00 minutes, give and take 10 seconds plus minus. Last week I would finish my time under 13:40 quite easily so then I started pushing more until last Friday my time was 13:02:20. My god I was so close to my target, I clocked 13 minutes 2 seconds and 20 milliseconds. So I knew I was on roll and this Sunday finally I broke the barrier and my time was clocked at 12:43:07. That is my best time until now and today it was 12:49:40. When on Sunday I clocked my best time I wanted to jump up and down like in the movie Rocky, Stallone does but I refrained myself thinking people will really think of me as crazy.

Whenever before I would clock my best time, I wanted to post it. I even had the notion that I would post my time every day but then I realized who except me was interested in my timings. Anyway now this new record has placed me in a predicament. On Sunday as I said, I broke my barrier so today there was this pressure on me to finish my run under 13 mins. Its like you are on winning streak, so everytime you go out to perform there is this added pressure on you to perform. This pressure is depriving me from the pleasure I take in jogging. Although the pleasure last only for the first 500 meters after which I start getting tired and then my thought would be when would I finish my jog. But still when the pressure was not there, sometimes I would take pleasure in listening to the music while on the run or thinking about something during jogging. Now today the only thing I was focus upon was my speed , to make sure that I could complete my run under 13 minutes. So now on one hand I have my pride that I have finally broken my barrier and on the other hand, I have my passion for jogging. Which one to choose now?

Ideals create hypocrisy

Our mind holds onto the fixed ideas with which we have identified with ourselves. If we have a certain idea of how we should be, then we cannot accept the experiential truths of our beings. Osho has so brilliantly explained this. For example if we have the idea that we have to be brave, that bravery is valuable, then it is difficult to accept our cowardice. If we don’t have any ideals, then we don’t have a problem. We are a coward, so we are, we accept it, we don’t condemn the fact, we don’t reject it, we are what we are. Even Sri Sri Ravishankar said that “Things are as it is, it is we who label them as beautiful or ugly”.  

So ideals create hypocrisy. I bet out of 100 persons if I ask what do they hate in another human being 90 out of them would say hypocrisy. Have you seen the irony of it? People have the ideal of not being hypocrites, and hypocrisy comes through ideals. It is easy to say but try not to have certain ideas about yourself. People are carrying so many ideas of how they should be. For example if one thinks of themselves as “kind” person then they wont allow themselves to recognize and accept angry feelings when it arises. But anger is fact and the ideal is just an ideal, a fantasy of mind. I have to see and realize that I am only the moment-to-moment, experiential reality. Some moments I am angry, some moments I am sad, some moments I am jealous, some moments I am joyful. Moment to moment whatever happens is accepted.