Skipping schools

There are so many books on espionage, counter espionage, there are even books on how to make an atomic bomb but no books on what I needed the most and that was art of skipping classes. It would have saved my ass big time. My timing sucks I guess because according to most of our parents we have to study hard during 12th and supposedly goof around during the college days, at least that’s the picture portrayed by our movies. But hey its me, how could I ever get it right so I goofed during my 12th and seriously studied during my college years.

Skipping classes is not a big thing; it’s the getting away that is. Regrettably I didn’t. My standard things in my school bag were a water bottle, a cricket ball, one towel. That’s it, no books no pens nothing after all those things wouldn’t be useful on our farm house. One another problem for me was that all my friends were in economics class and I was in Business Maths (B.M) class. Now because of good grades in 10th, my parents asked me to choose B.M because you have more chance in scoring in B.M then in economics. I am not saying that all those guys and gals in economics section were thick or vapid but of course in B.M, we were recognized as elite in the whole school and here I was among those creams of elite and instead of scoring in B.M, playing cricket. So coming back to my predicaments, there is something called attendance. I am sure you are all familiar with that term and you had had to fill your presence, at least on paper to count that you have actually attended the class. More familiar term is called “proxy”, which I know guys who share my point of view would know it better than anybody. So my friends in economics section didn’t have any such problem. There were lots of guys willing to cover for them, like filling their attendance sheet so that on paper it would be counted that they have attended the lecture. In my class, everybody were studious and no body was willing to fill my proxy because I guess they were afraid of outcomes if they get caught. Until now even I don’t know what would be the outcome if somebody did managed to get caught, I guess I should leave it to my imagination. So I said fuck that, still I am gonna skip classes and will play cricket. It was the matter of pride now.

So in the morning, we would gather around school and wait for the school bell to announce that school is in session, would grab our bikes and ride to our farm house and play cricket. Then again would come back to school, would mingle with those people who did attend the school and would find out if anything unusual happened or not like any announcement or something. This routine carried for a while. However the school people did found out that some of us are skipping classes, so they made mandatory to approach teacher’s desk in the first class and sign the attendance sheet instead of passing around. Damn now that is the problem because once in the class there was no way we could skip class with our school bags. I mean after all we have to get out of the school and the guard posted by the gates was not there just to shag but to catch people like us. Who says anything is impossible? It actually means that nobody has done it so far and we are born to break the limits. We found a solution, risky but you need to take some risk. We would sign up during the first lecture (god knows how I managed to attend the class without any pen or books, it seems enigma to me now) and when our first lecture would be over, there would be one guy on the ground floor whose primary job was to catch the bag that we would throw from our class window and to throw to another guy who was waiting outside the school. Then on pretext of going to the washroom, we would leave the class, scale the school wall and back to cricket. I wish school would have recognized my potential as a good wall scaler, I know some of those people who work at night and deprive sometimes people of their treasure would indeed have recognized my potential and I am sure they would have given me some sort of trophy. But life Is never fair.

So, this scheme of ours was working well until one day our P.T teacher (Physical Trainer) came to the ground and the catcher seeing him scampered. Now the guy who was throwing the bag didn’t know this so he threw the bag and holy shit, the bag hit out P.T teacher on head. He was knocked out for couple of seconds lying flat on the ground. I mean gravity was at work here too. What miserable luck we have, its like sitting in north pole during the world war, oblivious of the bombing and first Nazi inter continental ballistic missile got fired and during the process of elevation got itself short circuited, lost its projectery and landed right on top of us. What a mess, our P.T teacher saw which window was it, made some calculation and announced himself as Atilla the Hun. Mind you he was in a mean mood but I was lucky as I was in another class and I didn’t throw my bag so I was safe. What a close call but most of my friends got caught and I hate to think what happened to them.

Now normal people after getting caught would have stopped this shit, but no not us, we were plain dumb guys. We said forget the attendance lets go our own merry way and skip classes. There again we were doing the same old thing, waiting for the school bell to announce that school has started and then would go to play cricket. The worse thing was that my dad caught me when one day we were just chilling out at a café at 7 in the morning (during school hours) and my bad luck that my dad was teaching my sister to drive the car and first I saw the car, knew that it is familiar so saw the number plate and damn its mine and I saw who’s driving and my dad was staring at me and I was staring at him. It was love at first sight but this kind of love I hate to elaborate. My mouth was hanging open like fresh fish just out of from the water. You know I became psyche at that time. I swear I saw my future (that too without crystal ball or any tarot cards) at that time and believe me it wasn’t looking rosy to me at all. I was thinking of buying some heat resistance cream which I could apply before meeting my dad because I knew I was gonna burn in the hell. Later on my dad asked what you were doing and I had to tell that I bunked the class. I had no choice, what should I say I was doing at school hours wearing school uniform with my friends at café. I am so glad for my terrible memory that I forgot what he said but I am sure it wasn’t a pat on my back. That I would have remembered till the day I die. Also once I was bunking my karate class in the evening with my friend and his scooter broke down so we were under street light checking whether the petrol is there or not and all of a sudden I hear a voice asking what happened. Man I was chilled to my bone hearing that because it was my dad asking and I said we were checking the petrol and he asked what we were doing here because this is not the way for my karate class and I didn’t say anything. Would you believe my luck, don’t know what inspired dad that he took my bicycle out that evening to ride it so that he can get exercise. I swear to god after that incident he never touched my bike. This very day when ever my friend meets me he reminds me of that day asking was that the only time your dad took out your bicycle and why in gods name did he come there? Its like he came just to catch me. God and I had a private session after that.

Now whenever my kid would bunk classes and if he gets caught, I will let him read this article and tell him son, your old man also tried but I guess we are not favored with good luck when it comes to skipping classes so why fight the fate? Forget it and be a good boy. Hope that inspires him because reading this story, hmm leave it I fail to find more words here but if my son laughs reading this article in future, boy o boy he is going to get a slap on his face.

Man errs...until his strife is ended

I was reading this novel “Fist of God” by Fredrick Foresythe and it made me think about all our arrogance as a human race. The novel was based upon Gulf War and the story writing was superb but I can’t seem to overlook the reality that how much WMD (Weapons for Mass Destruction) we have created. The technology for destruction is million miles ahead then the technology we are researching for upliftment.

Does man deserve his name Homo sapiens? It was not given to him; he gave it to himself, in his arrogance imagining he was sapient. It was a fancied sagacity. We elected wrong leaders; we gave our future and that of our children to those who saw only good in destruction and exploitation of our natural resources. We fell for the dangerous optimism of the ignorant or worse of the financially interested. We exhausted our resources, both spiritual and physical, religion ceased to offer consolation, our political system gave no enlightenment. Suppression took place of fulfillment.

It is saddening but true that in a world crying out for medicine, tools, housing, life itself, our greatest efforts went into inventing of murder machines and the ways to tear our planet to pieces. Were we capable of developing new morality? This is the question that first came to my mind after I finished the novel. Will future men regard the earth’s resource as finite? Which ofcourse they are but in their arrogance fail to see it or will they continue their blind squandering of them as if they had no end? This remark is for those OPEC countries who think because they have 100 years of crude, they can hog the planet earth by their petroleum.

Also I heard a lot of cries about ethics when scientists were cheering about their successful cloning experiment. I read the argument both ways, their usefulness and their dangerous outcomes. The only dangerous outcomes people or religious people condemn is that it is not ethical. Who are we to play god? The usefulness is confined I fear to only those sectors of people who can afford them. But what about those who really need it but don’t have the resource to pay them? What about third world countries citizens? My opinion is that we reasoned that regardless of the danger to life on this planet we did not have the right, as people to play with the product of three billion years of evolution on our planet. Who are we, as people to believe that we are free to apply techniques to living things that will deeply confuse their genetics? I am ofcourse not speaking of animal or plant breeding, I am speaking of creating mutations.

I am afraid to see the path that we are going, going in the name of progress but it really is an engine of destruction. Yes we have to arm ourselves to protect our mother land but so are the other countries thinking the same thing and where will it stop? Until now only read about the virtues of global warming but saw this summer first hand. It was raining here in the middle of summer which can only account to the none other than our global warming effect. Not many people would think about it, they would just shrug off and would go on their business, but this is our business. If we fail to see it now I fear it may be too late to do anything other than face the consequence.

A short horror story

I read this book called “Worlds true horror stories” or something like that. In fact it focused more on spirits and all stories were true i.e. they have not just been fragment of imaginations but true story with dates, time and location. Interesting to see that most of the mishaps have been noted in England. Since 16th century England had noted and recorded many witches and spirits incidents. The first time I read this book was when I was 12 yrs old and it scared the shit out of me. Every time I would see outside of the window at night and I would imagine a face staring back at me. My parents were upbraiding me telling why you read this book. I proposed them to read the book as still it was interesting and they denied it out rightly. Perhaps they saw the after effects it had on me and so they wisely kept away from reading it. Now I know how that kid in the movie the sixth sense felt. “I see dead people”, no way not me, you got to be crazy to think that, I am talking about that kid in the movie.

Anyway I have a short horror story to tell. It started with a man buying a house at the outskirt of the city. It was a beautiful house with a big garden and French windows overlooking an expanse garden and pathway leading to the dense woods. Things were good in the beginning as always is. But then subtle things started to happen. Some things which are conventional, which you hear whispers about it but still ignore. Some rumors in the city but you still disregard it because at the back of your mind, you are skeptical. However things started to change in 3 months after the man possessed the house. Suddenly without any warning recession came. Finance minister began yelling about high inflation and slow down of GDP growth rate. Suddenly all the sectors started declining in their growth. Inevitable happened and that is the guy couldn’t make the mortgage payment. This had to happen and within six months the guy had to leave the house. But the next month, things started to get better just like snow melting and sun coming out, the economy stopped sliding south side and began to make a remarkable recovery. The property value got doubled in just 2 months after the guy left the house because of non payment mortgage for his house.

That is the different thing that there was a dead lady in the basement but still the property value wouldn’t have been affected. Such a horror story which shakes the core out of me.

Jokes...but at whose expense?

Have you ever thought that whenever we joke, it’s either at the expense of somebody else or on our expense. The latter has minute percentage. I have just realized that many times I joke of course I joke at somebody else expense but those aren’t the crude jab, just the harmless little fluster. Yes, no doubt I get the predictable reaction that is laughter but then I thought will the joke be taken as a bona fide? I mean the simple solution would be to step into his/her shoes and I did stepped and I had no problem with that. You see my nature is very humble. Even if somebody compliments me, flatters me I would be visibly flustered, very embarrassed and will try profusely to change the subject so that I wont be in the lime light. Even my friends know this especially my cricket playing friends. Everytime I would bowl an excellent over or took a prize wicket, they would all congratulate me and I would just shrug off and say I was lucky. So now even after playing grand when they would come to congratulate me and as usual I would shrug and then they would complete my statement for me saying “ yea you were lucky or it just happened isn’t it?” and I would say yes that’s the way it is.

From childhood the only good thing I know about me is that I accept my nature. Every person has their bad qualities and I suspect they don’t know about it but may be they don’t want to see the mirror. I would consent with what ever bad or good qualities I have because I am accepting it. So my point is whenever somebody jokes at my expense and if there 1 % of truth in it, I would laugh and would bear no grudges. For jokes to be effective, actually it has to have a small proportion of truth and rest fiction otherwise a whole dose of truth isn’t funny. So I had no problem when someone jokes at my expense but how many people would be offended? I never realized that. Now theres this distinction between joke and pulling legs but not in a joking way. I know the exact word in gujarati but don’t know in English otherwise you might get a better picture of what I am trying to say. Perhaps an example or something might throw some light on what I am trying to say. You know sometimes when you don’t like a person and you want to say something mean and direct but you don’t say in the direct language but would make it a joke and the ultimate goal is to make him realize what you are trying to say or jab at him. That’s the best I could do right now. So I was saying is there is a distinction and I never ever would do the latter because I don’t know how. Some people are very efficient and could do it without even a moments notice and impromptu but I am not cut out for that. Anyway even I am not sure where I am going with this but what I am trying to say is that if I continue to joke then may be my nature will become like this and at every opportunity I would be making jokes at somebodys expense without realizing the implication it may have on the other person. Than I would be too late to stop because this habit would have been molded in my nature by constant process.

One things is sure, I just thought about this and writing it but I can guarantee one thing is I wont remember any of this stuff tomorrow. Its like preaching one day and then forgetting about it. Start fresh everyday that’s what I believe in. you need to have some justification for your terrible memory and the start fresh sentence looks good so it serves my purpose of cloaking my terrible memory.

voyageur semblable

It was always a dream that some beau fille would sit next to me. Doesn’t matter where I am travelling. Ok, one part of my wish was fulfilled but the latter part of my dream is where I am still most despondent. Usually whenever I am sitting in a movie theatre, to my recollection no magnifique fille has ever sat next to me. So one time we three friends were watching this movie…I forgot the name of the movie…Will Smith was in it, it was movie about the virus where Will is the doctor trying to cure the virus….like I,Hero or something (no not I, Robot but I think I, Legend..yes I think that’s the name). Damn my memory. Anyway this gorgeous gal sat next to me and disturbed me. First putting her feet on me and knocking some of my popcorns. The one thing that annoys me is people coming late in the movie. She came late when the movie was already started so I was concentrating and she came blabbing and I turned to give her a mean look to convey her meaning that lady put a sock in it but as soon as I saw her visage I came to my established and natural mood that is forgiving. What you don’t believe it? Better believe it that my nature is forgiving. So the most natural thing was for me to check out who was with her. I saw a profile and the hair was short so I assumed must be her boyfriend. Damn my luck. She was a living testament to the power of dumb. Asking dumb questions to her partner and I guessed her partner was more dumb cause all I heard was grunt from him. I felt like I should answer all her questions, that way I would strike up a conversation. During the interval when lights came on and what do I see? That her partner is actually a gal with short hair. Merveilleux I have some chance. So I said to my friends now watch how I talk with the gal and after the interval I would be damned if the girl ever uttered a word. What was going on? This girl who couldn’t stop asking questions like gabbar singh is sitting behind her and saying “jitney saaval karagi utna waqt jiyagi” and now she has left her destiny to fate. Man that was a piss. So found a beau fille but couldn’t strike a conversation.

That’s not the only time. One of my dreams was that of course u guessed it, once again a beau fille would sit next to me on a plane. See on a plane, you cant run away and you are there for atleast 12 hours that gives plenty of time to get acquainted. I had certain magnetism towards window seat but not anymore, the reason, you have to ask your fellow passenger to move when you have to take a leak. So I was at the window seat, next to me was this beau fille dutch girl and next to her was this fat Chinese guy. As soon as she sat, I thought ok this is going to be my best trip. Usually I hate travelling in plane, its so boring but well well my starts have turned. So first thing I said is that “I hate when I get window seat because I have to ask you to move when ever my kidney gets full” and she in her heavy English accent says yes and that’s it, end of conversation. I keep making funny remarks but I wasn’t getting anywhere. I said to myself excellent bhavik, you have more chance of surviving if the plane crashes and you fall without parachute than with this babe. So I ask her and the fat guy to make some room so that I can go and take a piss which u could say about my mood too. Ah one thing felt good, getting my kidney empty and after 15 mins I bloody cant believe it, its full again as if I never visited the washroom. Oh oh what should I do now, its not gracious to ask them again to move but damn I cant hold it any longer. I see and both of them are sleeping. I hope lady luck didn’t hear my profanity, because I didn’t need any more piss from her. I had more than enough piss to handle her piss (puns included). At one time I had this notion where in the movie dumb and dumber jim carrey does with the beer bottle. But in a plane no way. A measure/ test of my resoluteness. The one hour I had to hold was pure agony, after a while as soon as this gal stirred, I asked her to wake up the Chinese guy and let me pass. Boy after the visit, I was so fatigued that even if that girl would try to start the conversation, I would have to put her off. My dream trip just turned out to be an excruciation trip.

Moral: never take a window seat in the plane, always opt for aisle seat and if things turns out ugly, do what jim carrey did in the movie dumb and dumber.

Fear

Fear…who doesn’t have it? There are lots of types of fears. Mine is facing the difficult situation. How many of you if have the option to opt out still stand and face it. I would like to count the raised hands. Ok you have raised your hands but think have you really stand your ground? Not standing really exasperates me. When ever I am facing a situation which I don’t like then my reaction is simple, to pass on the buck to somebody else. Atleast I don’t bury my head in the sand thinking since I can’t see the situation, it doesn’t exist. If given a chance, I would pass it on to somebody else before the other person has time to even say his name.

So I would think why can’t I step up to the plate?. In fact why is it that I am facing it? I was not always this deep thinker. In fact 2 years before I would hardly think what life is. I still search for a definition but I know its impossible to find it exactly because each one has their own meaning and view. But I vividly remember that when I was stoned smoking weed and thank god I had the presence to be in the bed and not to make fool of myself in front of others I was thinking something and what I thought really shocked me. I mean where did these thoughts come from? I never had thought about it before so how could it have come in my consciousness now. Perhaps it has slipped from my sub conscious. The thoughts were why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? I swear I felt like matrix where I felt that my body is here but actually I am not here. I am somewhere else (call it the soul or my real body) and I couldn’t shake off that feeling. I was so confused what is reality and in the early hours of morning when I became sobered did I realized that perhaps this is the reality and not what I was thinking. So my question is why do I get to face this situation. My reply is simple because we need to learn from it. Until I wont learn it, life will continue to teach me. Life is a tenacious teacher. It wont cut you any ropes. Until and unless you learn it, you will get it. It’s the law of attraction. The more you try to avoid it, the more you are focusing on it and what ever you are focusing on, you will get that only. Universe doesn’t know the no answer. We keep thinking I don’t get sick but universe doesn’t understand the denial statement. It sees that you are focusing on sickness so it will give you sickness. What we should do is focus on that I will remain healthy. Then we are focusing on health and we will get that.

Ok I have understood the meaning that life is trying to teach me to face the situation but I can’t do it. Passing the buck is easy and I get the guilty feeling but only for a succinct period. I feel guilty and then I would realize thank god I am not facing it and my guilt would vanish like the darkness with the prelude of light. Being aware is one thing. That is the first step. I have stepped the first step but the next step is where I am facing the difficulties. May be I have to bite the bullet and that would give me the confidence to face it the next time because running away from it is by no means any excuse or solution. Sooner or later I had to face it because not every time there would be some one to bail me out but let me try to face it when my back isn’t up to the wall. Atleast I could say that even when I had the choice, I still stood firm on my ground and faced it. How about you? What options do you choose when you are in unwanted situation and you have the choice to run away from it by leaving it to somebody else. May be its time for both of us to step up on the plate.

Previous life’s morning rituals

God it was a brisk life when I was juggling studying and working. It’s typical but not for me. I who’s king of indolent, slothful, lethargic, otiose…ok enough of adjectives had to work and study at the same time. The odds were more for physicist to invent time travel than me to pass out with flying colors. But look at me, I defied the odds. Although the comparison here is erroneous. Of course, we all know time travel is not possible. Not even in future because time is an illusion and we can travel only from point A to point B, but since time does not travel, we travel being in illusion that actually its time that’s travelling so how time travel can be possible. Ok, the train is off the track. Let me get back to the track. Where was I? Oh yea, the brisk life.

So my morning ritual was something like this. My friend and I used to share a room. I would wake up first at 5:15 AM (for me that’s middle of the night). Would finish the brushing and would wake my friend who actually wasn’t as lazy as me but still I had to push him in the morning. He would finish his brushing and then would go down to the kitchen for breakfast while I would go for a bath. After finishing that my friend would go for a bath while I would eat breakfast. At that time uncle would wake up because aunty and we used to go out at the same time for work and she would give us the ride to the place. So uncle(I don’t think he even brushed in the morning cause many times foul breath would come out, not from his body, I can differentiate that smell but from his mouth). That stench was enough to wake me fully and be on my toes to run if he tries to talk with me. Usually he would and I as a good and polite boy had to indulge him. Damn why did my mom raised me to be a polite boy. Anyway uncle would make tea, not for me silly but for aunty because queen ruled that palace. I don’t drink tea, I would have my milk, my bagels or if I could find croissants, would make sandwich for my friend and myself, pack it along with juice and would sit on the computer.

It was fascination to sit in the middle of the morning on internet. Don’t know why because hardly at that time someone would be online but still we used to sit on the computer. Meanwhile aunty would come down in a hurry, would drink tea and would have her toast in a matter of minutes while we both would lace up, go out, would remove snow from the car, start the car and heater and would sit for some early morning entertainment. We both knew what conversation we would hear in the morning. It was very characteristic. Aunty would say

“Pankaj, jaldi kaar maudo thai gayu”
(“Pankaj, hurry up, I am getting late” )
“Harsha, jaldi uthti hoye tau”
(“Harsha, if only you could wake up early”)

“Pankaj, savar na paur ma magaj mari na kaar”
(Pankaj, don’t irritate me in the morning”)

Uncle would laugh and would say ” heheheh harsha bol biju shu karvanu che?”
(hehehe “Harsham so what else has to be done?”)

Then aunty would give him the list of things to do, would remind him, no reprimand him to pick her up at 3:30 and not to be late, and then would ask us children if we need something. That my comrades, was my daily ritual for almost a year. Boy how I missed those rushing off days. Now I would wake up at 7:30, would read paper, relax a bit would watch TV and then go to work. (yea I do brush and bath, that is assumed). I even stopped my meditation, man am I becoming lazy.

So the moral of this story is even after being grilled like a sergeant for almost a year, I still am becoming lazier than ever. Perhaps some people never learn. Its you I am talking about not me.

News Paper

The timing was 2 minutes. For what you ask eh? It was for staring at the screen and thinking what to write now for the blog. I am in a dilemma. I have this great story or shall I say experiences my friend had and I was going to dedicate this whole blog to him but then I thought its one thing sharing all his humorous experience with me but its another thing that I will share that with all of you. I cant betray his trust so I let it go otherwise I can vouch that this blog would have been greatest undoubtedly. But the bottom line is I cant so once again its back to square one.

Everybody’s proud of their nationality and so I am but I don’t know how many of them are aware that no civilization is perfect. There’s always a different side too of that civilization. I was reading about the mentality of Indians and it was funny. No doubt our civilization is the first (Harappa civilization 5000 BC, what did you learn in history) and the best but it also has its faults like many others. One of the common mentalities is trying and reusing gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil. Ok u can say we are cheap but I argue that we are so concerned with garbage problem that what we are doing is called recycling. Recycling not just cans and paper but gift papers too and it has an advantage, its cost cutting. Of course a good way to say cheap but hey what can I say perhaps harrapa people were like that and we got those genes and I guess we will carry forward those DNA’s too.

I know one thing is that if I ever buy a news paper, I wouldn’t throw it just after reading the headline or until my travelling is over. I remember that during my vacation I was staying in a different city and working in a different city. So I had to travel by bus and then by train (GO known as Govt of Ontario) which used to travel intercity. The transit time was approximately an hour and half. My bag would have loads of novels, my Ipod and FREE daily magazine. Notice the word free in capital letters, if I had to pay forget it. So u know what I would do after boarding the train. I would look for a seat where someone would have left recent news paper. Usually I would find it and then I would take it, sit on that seat and read leisurely. That’s what I loved about Canadian people. They would buy the paper, read the headline and when their station comes they would leave the paper for me to read. How I thank them in my prayers. O lord give wealth to this people so that they can provide daily event updates to people like me who are always on the look out for free current newspaper.

During the journey I would read the paper then would put it in my bag and would come to the store. I wouldn’t toss that paper in the garbage can until I have read nearly all the article, even those which wouldn’t interest me but how can I let go of this paper until I haven’t exhausted its full potential. I don’t know about others, but one of my friend carried the same passion. Unfortunately his transit period was half an hour and also he was travelling by Toronto bus where there’s hardly any paper left. I do know that even when I was travelling in the bus as soon as someone leaves today’s paper before I even think about taking it, two or three people would be pulling at it. The competition for free paper there was more ferocious than a cell of sperm going for the ovary. It was a battle ground and we all were gladiators hungry for free recent news paper.

Our uncle also subscribed for Toronto star and in the morning when we had work to do, My friend and I used to take the paper. Poor uncle would search the whole day and after a day or two did realize we were snatching the paper so asked us to take the home improvement and all those girls section while leaving financial, auto and main times with him. Now who wants to read the latest fashion and how to improve your home? We did wanted to give him a peace of our mind but because of deference we restrained from doing it.

I guess there is certain attraction when you see paper lying around, which happens to be today’s paper and you didn’t pay for it (Also you happen to have the time to read). I don’t know about you guys but it does attract me stronger than Jupiter’s gravity or a gorgeous gal’s come on signal.

Snow

I remember my first experience in snow. I was so excited that I played in snow for almost 15 minutes. How I remembered the poem “ SNOW… gently falling, floating down over me and you, standing here standing there the snow is falling. White flakes come down from heaven above coming down like angels the snow is falling”. Robert Frost and Max Lehram would have given their approval for my love for snow. They would have said what a fine boy I am for carrying on their fervor for snow. But my notion changed when I had a shovel in my hand and a whole driveway to clean. How Robert Frost and Max Lehram would have turned into their grave when I would, instead of poem for snow, hissing/outbursting profanity for the snow.

During my first year in Univeristy, I was staying as a PG with a couple who had 2 kids. There were 2 of my friends who were staying with me as PG. So total there were this uncle, aunty, their son, their crazy daughter and 3 of us. Now this house was big and it had 2 doors garage so naturally the driveway would be big. Whenever we would come from the university and would see snow falling, profanity would find its way automatically into my mind. The whole way from University to house, we would curse it. At that time I did say that if somebody finds snow light, better refer them to me. I had a piece of mind to give them.

Aunty was kindhearted and she saw our appalling conditions so she asked uncle to buy a snow mover. Eureka, we were excited just to hear that. Atleast there is some hope for our poor backs. Uncle of course had to agree because queen ruled this palace. We went to the store bought a good 50 HP snow mover costing around $750. We were in state of euphoria. No more profanity for snow when it comes, now for a change we will once again enjoy it.

We were discussing this when we were coming back from University to home. We were thinking let it snow let it snow let it snow, no more shoveling and what do we see when we come back home. The drive way isn’t clean and the son is trying to start the snow mover. No, we weren’t crestfallen but were excited cause the son was trying to start the first time. Yea, the petrol has been filled up and now all it needs it’s a pull to start the mover. We gather around the mover anticipating the roaring of the 50HP beast. 4-5 pulls are done excitedly but all the beast managed to do was cough. Oops, our smiles were disappearing from our faces. We checked to make sure the petrol’s there and the tank is full. The instruction manual was checked to make sure we didn’t amiss anyting. Soon we were cursing, what kind of crap is this. Its new costing $750 and not working the first day. The son faithfully shows us our shovels and says get started, he is joining as soon as he wears the jacket and cap.

My friend starts kicking the machine and instead of stopping him, I joined him too. Its only later when the third friend comes to our..no sorry machines rescue and asks us to stop it. We were fuming. The heat was enough to melt all the snow in the driveway. He got so angry that he was pushing beyond human endurance. We were impressed and inspired but he was like a human machine, kicking the snow and shovel and basically doing work in 10 minutes which took the son and me half an hour. It was latter part of the day that I had to rub pain reliever on his back and shoulders. He was that pissed.

Then comes the fun part. We had to sprinkle salt on the steps and the driveway leading to the basement. Now this salt is not like the one we eat. Its solid and like small pebbles. We were generous in spreading on the steps. The idea was that if overnight it snows, because of the salt sprinkled on the steps, in the morning atleast the steps wont be covered with snow. So my friend and I would sprinkle generous portion of it so that we wouldn’t have to clean the drive and steps. Even the son concurred with our theory. He would sprinkle generous portion too. In 3 days we finshed whole 1 kg of bag…oops uncle was angry. So after that he would stand like a nazi general and we would get as much ration as during the world war, the nazi camp prisoners would get. Uncle would give us a minute portion of salt to spread. I would try to calculate how can I cover the whole steps in this microscopic amount. I would ofcourse think of asking for another ration but uncle would be standing like a hitler and I would think too bad for those who would be crossing the steps in the morning. Usually It would be us or aunty only. We had to carry the risk. Anyway later on the beast did start and we got relieved from shoveling.

There are these happy and humorous experiences with snow and I intend to cherish it as long as I can remember. Let it snow let it snow let it snow…Let uncle for a change learn new words of profanity when its snowing and the machine is not working.

What should be the title for this post?

What should be the genesis of this blog? For past few days I was itching to write a blog but had no idea what to write. Its not like sometimes when you know, you sit on the computer (its an expression, don’t literally take the meaning that instead of sitting on my chair, I am sitting on computer) to write something and then you realize that you forgot what you were going to write. Its just like sometimes coming into the room and then scratching your head thinking why was I here? Cmon no, its not some short term memory relapse. My memory’s ok although its only during the exams where they disappoint me. I have my mark sheets to prove that. That is my principal pretext to my parents for my exalted marks. Ok I have substantiated here that you or I have no idea where this topic would be going or it would end up where. As thoughts would come into my mind, I would re-arrange, filter, will ponder on it and then would write it. But why am I filtering the thoughts? Why cant I write what comes into my head? Partly because I don’t want my blogs to sound gibberish, partly I don’t want to share some of my innermost feelings. Oh what a web of lies we weave. It is a big quandary.

I came upon this reading by Sri Sri Ravishankarji and perhaps we should look into it too. He said that beauty is the language of heart. When you read poetry, sing a song it is always from the heart. Analysis or explanation is from the mind. Justice and equality are from the head. Uniqueness is from the heart. Heart makes everything special. But, what do we usually do?

If there is any negativity we deal it from the heart, and something that is positive we deal it from the head. If there is suffering, we exaggerate it. If there is problem, we blow it out of proportion. You might have noticed that. When we were child and we got a small scratch we would say “I cut myself so terribly, what is my blood group? I need to know so that I can tell the hospital guys that I need 2 litres of blood”. Right, now here I may be overstating but point remains the same. But our human mind is so infirm that if something beautiful comes by we look it from the head. If somebody is genuinely praising us, we would think I wonder what he wants from me now…why is he buttering me up? Am I right? No, then perhaps its me that should learn this point, while you can happily skip the blog. And if Yes,(good, I am not the only one in this whole wide world) then sit comfortably, rub your eyes, stretch your arms and now come back to reading.

We need to change. Even if we see one good quality, we should exaggerate it. Let us see the negative quality through your head, your mind. Analyse the negative quality, reason it out. “Why is that person behaving like that? Maybe they are stressed, tensed…….” Don’t see negativity through your heart, your heart becomes sore. You store the negativity in you and you become miserable. The person who bitted your head is long gone while here you are thinking about it in your heart and making your present moment miserable. What good does that you? If it doesn’t then why are we doing it? Everybody wants to be happy right? So why cant we choose to be happy instead of relying on the circumstance to make us happy.

There’s this one friend of mine with whom I don’t talk any more. Sometimes when he calls to meet, I avoid him giving vague reasons. May be I am storing all this bad experience I had with him in my heart instead of my mind and that is why I don’t feel like speaking to him any more but what the heck? I will call him tomorrow and see what is he up to? May be will give myself a chance to see if we could be friends again and even if not then atleast I will be satisfied that I did try instead of doing nothing , rejecting him and letting our friendship going down the drain. We will see…we will see what happens. Till then Live life…….(I hope my memory doesn’t fail me tomorrow and I do remember to call him otherwise god help me)

Adjustment

Theres this ad I saw on TV. It was a great ad showing people adjusting like for instance asking people to move so that a guy can sit in a crowded train and showing lots of people adjusting to the situation with the motto saying that Thank god some things in life you don’t have to adjust like our brand of underwear. It was funny and its true there are lots of adjustment to be made. Like for instance India is making so many adjustment, against Pakistan, US and many countries. But the irony is that Indian people are adjusting more than the country because we are adjusting our Prime Minister. Isnt that funny.

But in life we have to adjust. Sometimes we do because of the circumstances and we have no choice and sometimes we bite the bullet and do it even though we have a choice but we do it cause we are the good guys or gals and think of others. But in order to pick the latter choice one has to let go of their ego. Thats the hardest part and unfortunately i am not immune to it. Still a long way for me to go on that path.

Credit card business is funny in India. Here they are promoting so much, like i would get atleast 4-5 calls in a day from bank asking me to take their loans or credit card. Sometimes those marketing guys are literally begging me to take their loans. That is ok but the after service in credit card sucks. I am not a big fan of credit card because of risk on the internet. But it has its advantages too, it atleast beats carrying all the cash around and pocketing the change one get. The banks in India are best. Atleast HSBC bank is best. I have credit card of HSBC Bank and its best because after using it and after 20 days i still dont get any statement. Many times they have not send me any statements that is why i think its best because one or two occasion they never charged me for the charges i did on my credit card. I must be the only one who would ask the bank is my account debited and have they charged me my visa. No dont think me as a noble person, I am doing it because i paid for the course and i want to make sure that money has been sent to the institute and that is why i m always asking have they charged me so that atleast i know that the money has been sent to the institute. Then the big battle would begin. The bank would then charge me extra for not paying my bills and then i would have to argue they never issued me the statement even though i was asking for that. Now here i am doing adjustment and i have no option because even if i have to order a book on amazon i need credit card.

Well life itself is adjustment and one has to adapt.

Indian politics down and dirty

I only know who Indias Prime Minister is, President and my states chief minister. Rest of the politicians are just name to me. Mostly and i do mean most of the time i really dont care whats going on around me as long as it is not effecting me. I have stopped reading newspaper because first theres too much negativity in it and i believe if i keep reading it then preety soon either i will be sleeping on the couch and looking at the ceiling of my shrinks office or any direful news wouldnt affect me in anyway. The best thing is to become ostrich and bury my head. I always have a passion for reading. In the doctors office ofcourse you have no choice but to read those old aging dying magazines they have and hope that you dont get an attack of asthma by picking the magazines. But suppose you go to a restaurant then obviously you would chat with your friends but i couldnt resist reading the menu even after ordering the stuff. I am reading because i like to read oblivious to the fact that i can understand it or not.

Like for instance i like reading about physics although i have taken commerce as my main stream of study and i know basic maths and statistics but no way those big alien language formulas you see in physics. I am still trying to understand quantum mechanics and after reading half of the article i give up because i gained as much knowledge from it as i had when i picked up that article. But still i like to read. My best time was when i was working in the mall at the furniture store. god that was blissful for me because i only had to attend customers when they came and it doesnt take a rocket scientist to conclude that you dont get that much rush in a furniture store compare to clothing store. So i would pile up 4-5 books and read and read and read until I hear someone calling for me and cursing myself not to notice the customer that came and asking me questions.

Where am i going with this? Look at the title and look at the tale i am spinning here. Politics everywhere is dirty and isnt confined only at national level. We hear words like office politics, corporate politics, politics among our friends and sometimes even in families. I think we should give new meaning to the word politics. It should be labeled as an infectious diseases to watch out for with mortality level of 99%. One should see indian politics and even in this era i get shocked by our politicians art work. In this field you need to be unethical with as much amount of morality that you can see through very powerful electronic microscope. Sometimes i feel for people sometimes i get angry at them. I feel because they have to suffer and get angry because even after experiencing first hand how they were chewed by our leaders still cheer for them. Democracy has a new meaning, do what you want. Freedom we say in more respected way. Its because of the works done by our leaders, they hyped up article by our media and seeing the suffering i gave up watching,reading or taking any interest in our politics. That is why you will find me the most ignorant person when it comes to politics. Let me think whos our Prime Minister. I know the name was on the tip of my tongue..............................

which world to live in during drinking

One way to escape reality for the time being is drinking. Another is going into meditation and third is dreaming when you are sleeping. Third one is not in our control. I am an occasional drinker and drink when occasion pleads me to do so. But whenever i drink i became more alert, usually its antithetic for others but here there is actually struggle going on in my mind. Its like I become more focused not to create a scene or not to say something which i am not supposed to say. Also one thing i have noticed is i become more polite and quiet when i am drinking. Now quiet i can understand as that is my nature. If some people like to yak yak and when they start drinking, god knows you would trade anything to get ear plugs or 3 days old smelly socks so that you can stuff that persons mouth.

So here I am drinking and getting high. Savoring those feelings but still cant let go all of my feelings or cant let myself drift into the wind. I actually try to control my actions which eventually dampens my high state of mind and which leads to nullify my objective for drinking. Its been 8 months since i have drank and i dont know but i dont feel like drinking at all. Even if occasion calls for, I still wouldnt drink. The idea in drinking is letting go and enjoying the waves but i cant seem to do that. Guess i am not cut out for drinking, what do you say?

To Be or Not To Be

Famous lines by Sir. William Shakespeare. Never thought I would using these lines. Now its funny that after doing some meditation and yogas, I gravitate myself towards spirituality. Theres a great book called "Sayings by Shri Ramkrishnan". Now its a great book to read and one should read atleast 2 pages daily. I was reading and progressing well until i came to a chapter where shri Ramkrishnan says that in order to gain samadhi one has to abdicate gold and women. Now gold its easy for me to renounce as i dont have much right now and women, sure I dont have that many lined up or waiting for me. But Shri Ramkrishnan said that we have to see every women as The Divine Mother.

Oops for past week I am trying to do that and believe me its not working even one bit. Perhaps i would look at women as divine mother but that feeling wouldnt last long more than 5 seconds. Also physiological point of view the thing you resist, the more it comes to you and more focus you give on it. If somebody says dont look over there, by reflex you will look over there and it takes a lot of presence of mind and self effort not to look over there.

Shri Ramkrishnan gave advice that once you will renounce the feeling, it will be stronger and will come to you more than before but you have to persist. He followed it up by an example. Now one part of me wants to give up women, for a week i was successful because for a week i didnt go out much and never came upon any good looking chicks. So it helped me in keeping my focus. But on weekend everything i worked out fell into shackles. One look at fair damsel (make that group of fair damsels) and there goes all my efforts. Now i enjoyed looking chicks more than ever, its like you want a candy and then your parents denied you that pleasure and finally after so much persistence you got it. Think how wonderful that feeling would be. I felt like that and top of it i never felt guilty that this is something i am not supposed to do. The thing is to accept that we are human and its natural for us to look at women. Now its up to
women to interpret what kind of looks I am giving her.

So here I am at the crossroads wondering which path should I take? Divine mother path or appreciation for beauty path.

Merging " I " into infinity

What i like about cats is that they hide whenever they get hurt or are dying unlike dogs who comes at you. I feel the same way. Many people when they are depressed or angry would like company in order to divert their focus from their problems. It is really a good idea but I dont feel comfortable with that. If i am angry then i dont want company cause i want to get my anger out and the poor guy whos giving me company willl have to face my wrath, neither i want them near me when i am depressed because i dont want to spoil their mood and i do feel guilty sulking and sitting there contributing nothing in their talks.

One other thing that annoys or infuriates me is to be aware but still not doing anything about it. Now most important thing is to be aware of your thoughts and emotions. They are the guiding system to your soul and body. If i am getting headache, my body is telling me that i am not aligning with my vibrations. The depressing thought is telling me that the more i am focusing on it, the more reality i am creating by keeping all my attention on that thought. Now i know that my thinking is creating new reality and ruining my present moment but i cant seem to stop it even though i am aware of my thoughts and its consequences. That my friends is the most infuriating thing you will ever come across.

The solution for that: Its easy, meditate, relax or do whatever that feels you happy. If you have pet, pat them and see how it brings smile on your face. Think of some funny incident and focus on that thought until u feel the feelings you had when you encountered that incident.

This other day only i was so angry and frustrated that i declined the offer to go out with my friend and have a cup of coffee. I wasnt in the mood for that and since i was angry i had to take it out. One cannot suppress it as it is more dangerous, those hidden emotions because then they go into your subconscious. So i had a shower which cooled me a little bit. Then i thought i will meet him outside for some chat so that it would be relaxing for me. I called him and he said we will meet when one other friend who at the moment is not in the town will come. So i said ok and there my ego came. I do whatever he wants and when he wants and when i need him he says no. Then he called and i was thinking whether i should accept the counter offer because i thought he might have known how i was feeling and was probably trying to cheer me up. He called to say lets go to the movies and my temper shot up. I said i wasnt in the mood and hanged up. Now for a week i am not going to meet him. The reason behind this is my ego. I understand it completely, being aware of it but its hard to change it or amend it. I have read many sayings of great people and they are asking us to be like a salt doll who when dropped in the ocean will dissolve and become one with the ocean. It will lose its individuality and existence and will become one same as dropping my ego and "I" i will become one with the universe.


Well it may happen but its not gonna happen this week as i m going to be true to my word by shunning out my friend. Lets see if it happens or not but this article is the best way of saying how not to do things. cheers

In search of God

Is there God or not? This argument is ceaseless. To me it all depends on your faith and belief. I got inspiration of this topic from a article i came upon. It had a joke where a customer goes into a barber shop and barber says that there is no god as if there would be then there wouldn't be any sick, dying people in the world. After the customer gets its hair done he sees a beggar outside with big matted hair and long beard and turns to the barber.

" You say there is no god and i say there is no barber"

"How can you say that? I am right in front of you"

"Well if there was barber then how come all the beggars have long hair and unshaved beard"

"In order to get their haircut done they have to come to me"

"Exactly, in order to see god you have to go to them"

Many many people would argue on this and just like the universe is made of matter and anti-matter, everything have two sides. Good and bad, light and dark, positive and negative are all part of our nature and all are equal. We have to learn to accept them instead of shunning out bad and seeking for good. How would we know what is good unless we have tasted the fruits of bad? How would we know what is light when we have never experienced darkness? Everybody has in their nature, inclination to see the cup half full or half empty. Now this is the kind of impulse you dont have your control over. Its natural for you but not enduring. You can change your view how you look at the situations, things that you encounter in your life. Some people are born skeptical and would argue until the end of this world. Sometimes i get frustrated because these are the people even though you convince them of your point instead of realising and understand the point, at the back of their mind they are thinking of the way to find another loophole in the logic, finding another way to prove that the game is still on. Now i just let it go and seriously sometimes get sympathetic as they are stuck in the spiteful vicious circle for which they only hold the key and they have to be aware to realise it.

A german guy once asked my Kriya Yoga Guru to prove that there is god. My guru asked him to prove that there is no god as he wants the proof. Now if we dont see doesnt mean that its not there. We dont see air but we feel it, we havent seen black hole but we know they do exist. Sri Ramkrishna very well said

"You see many stars in the sky at night, but not when the sun rises. Can you therefore say that there are no stars in the heavens during the day? O man, because you cannot find god in the days of your ignorance, say not that there is no god."

Just as we feel the air but cannot see it, when you invite god in your soul you would surely feel his presence. The key is to be open minded, to reach him just like the joke of barber and customer. Now I am just expressing my opinion and i am found the way to reach my god. The way has been shown to me, all i have to do is to start walking.

Let me ask you something. What would you say if i ask what do you think of our world? Most of them would say world is in dire, polluted ete cetra. We always say there is so much poverty and bad in this world, when did we say the world is so beautiful, it is so good and breathtaking? If you focus on problems instead of solutions, according to the law of attraction you will get and see poverty and suffering only. Lets not underline the problems why are we seeing the cup half empty?

Fire alarm

What should we do when we hear fire alarm? should we run or just wait for the smoke to reach us. i would say latter one. why unnecessary panic and run like a cat with dog at its tail? I have a funny incident to share. Generally there is fire alarm in your house and in the building. You can differentiate through the sound it emits. Also it used to ring whenever we used to cook something spicy and ofcourse one knows indian cooking...lots of spice and fried things and in winter who will keep the doors open to let the smoke out. so whenever it would start ringing in our house, our job was to stand under the detector and let the smoke out by waving to and fro a big towel underneath the detector. That night i was sleeping early and it started ringing ( around 2 AM) . I knew that it was the building alarm so i had to get out of my room to ofcourse evacuate the building. I came outside my room and what do i see? That the other guy with whom i was sharing my flat was waving a towel to and fro and that too in the dark and also under a light bulb instead of the detector and pardon my mistake it wasn't a towel but his under vest(i guess that was the first thing he got his hands onto). So i said it isn't our house alarm but a building alarm. He said is that right and i said yea and stop waving your vest under the light bulb. Poor guy was disoriented because he was in a deep sleep when the alarm began so didn't know where the detector was and where the bulb was. After getting my bearings i told him that A) Its a building alarm and B) Stop waving towel to bulb.

Sometimes people just ask you senseless questions. Now the question that this guy asked was What should we do? Now that was a toughie...ohh what to do? It wont take a world renowned physicist to come up with an answer and that is we leave the building of course. But going out and that too in -18 degree. Brrr but somehow i didnt want to take any chances. So we got our coat, hat, gloves and all the heavy stuff and went to the ground floor. Fire Marshals were already there and they were checking where fire is. It was surprising to see that only about 20 odd people came downstairs. I mean we were living on 6th floor and there were 11 floors so come to think of it atleast 200 people would be living and i know very few apartment were empty. My friend was calling for the elevator and i said we should go for the stairs. I heard some people leaving through stairs and that caught me in panic. I didnt want to be alone and left out. Now after reaching the ground floor i was annoyed. Didn't people take the fire alarm seriously? I mean no one wanted to die right. They all loved their life and still they were sleeping through all this racket and didnt bother to come down. After waiting for 20 mins we came to know it was a false alarm.

There goes my sleep as i am not a sound sleeper. Also once my sleep gets disturbed then may god have mercy on me and grant me some shut eye. Now i was just drifting to sleep what am i hearing again? u bet its the same annoying insisting fire alarm and now its 3 AM. I got up and sweared real loud. This wasnt happening to me. I have to go to work tomorrow and I dont need this. Again my friend came out and said what should we do? I said i m not going out unless i see some smoke. He said ok he will check it out and i slept on the front couch waiting for him. He said he was the only one with building superintendent. It looked like false alarm and again we slept. At some time again the alarm started ringing and i didnt bother to get out of my bed. I thought well i m not coming out even if smoke comes in. They have to break the apartment and take me.

Motto of the story. Dont be lazy when fire alarm rings. It was an old building and we had plenty of courage to live in it. No body had courage to walk inside the graveyard. Just kidding

Stronger than gravity....is thinking

Do you think it is true that THE MORE WE THINK THE MORE WE SINK. I cant recall where i read it but i read it somewhere. It said that the hardest question is why? You have all the answers for when, where,how and what? I mean you have the facts for this questions but not for why. so i have stopped thinking. Too much strain for my brain. Its like a quick sand. I already have a headache and dont want to push it more by thinking deep. Hell, i wish if i could stop thinking. Then again i would stop thinking about girls. Girls jeune fille those fine creatures, those angels who lure you in their trap..i dont want to describe more as some of the feminine species might object. "Object your honour", "Overruled". But lets not stereotype them. They too have sterotyped guys so they shouldnt complain either. I mean i am not stating any fact, just my opinion.

For past 3 days, I am not making any sales. Everytime my boss would call me around 6PM to ask what is happening. Today i had to laugh, cause he got the same response. Nothing, zero,zilch,nil, big fat egg. I feel sorry, for myself and for him. He is not making any sales and i am not lying properly. If you are a salesman, better be ready to go to hell. I dont believe in hell or heaven but in reincarnation. In my next life i will become a low creature. Lying to every customer.
"Is it grade 1 leather?"
"Yes sir, it is" ( a golden rule my boss told me, say yes for whatever they are asking for)
Every leather is grade 1 for us.
"Do you have it in stock"
"Sure sir, we have it in our warehouse"
There is nothing like this kind in our warehouse...we have to order it. hopefully we will get it early or more lies to the customer
"Could you order it in soft cushioning?"
"No problem"
Everything comes in soft cushioning. take it because we are not gonna ask the company to make it more soft or hard.

But hey, this thing doesnt happen everytime. so a word of caution. Dont think that you will get cheated everytime you are buying. we are not cheating. just presenting the facts in a different form. If this was happening everywhere then probably no one would dare to buy anything. Some of the things happen everywhere and we know it too. Like take the government for example. It is corrupted no matter which country it represents. You cant question their honesty because you dont have anything to question regarding their faithfullness towards their dying citizens. In their dictionary, they have no word as honesty. Ok, I may be going off track but the point is to me Ignorance is bliss. The more we know, more curious we become and we feel more thirsty for knowledge and the cycle goes on. There is no end as knowledge is unlimited. So be content with what you know. Why do you want to bother wondering why did you come to life and who am i? The bottom line is that you are here, so enjoy the life. Life is like an ice cream, eat it before it melts. Melting reminded me that it is preety hot over here.

One thing i like in summer is that the clothes gets shorter and shorter. You see more legs and hmm i would rather not write it over here. I think this is general but the less revealing there is, the more attractive we are to that. I mean if a girl is in bikini, it doesnt make a big difference because we can see her legs. You dont see her legs but focus on other parts. But if there is a girl wearing shorts or skirt and if she has nice legs than you would oogle on those legs. Your eyes wont see other things. The funny part is i read in an scientific article that its healthy to see womens breast. Their conclusion was if you see a girl's cleavage you get excitied and the heart pumps blood faster which cleans your blood faster resulting into lower blood pressure and other heart dieases. Hmm now who would have thought this? I like their thinking. Finding positive points in something which many of gals would find disrespectful. This kind of thinking reminds me of a joke

A teacher asked a student
"If there are 3 birds on a tree and you shot 1 than how many birds are left?"
The boy replied "None"
"How come?" asked the teacher
"Because if you shot 1 bird then the rest will get frightened and will fly away"
"Good, I like the way you think"
So the student asked the teacher "If there are 3 girls sitting on a bench, one is licking the ice cream, second is biting the icecream and third is sucking the ice cream, which one do you think is married?"
The teacher repled embarrassingly "The one who is licking?"
"No, the one who has the wedding ring on her finger but i like the way you think"

Customers are pest

Why are customers so picky? I want exactly this kind of stuff and I want it to be delivered exactly at this time….give me a break. I have to hear complains from all the sides. From my boss, customers and movers. Hear me out too….now where can I take my frustration out? My friend who works in jewellery dept told me show them the finger. Can I? I haven’t seen her showing the finger so I m not gonna do that but oh yea I can swear at them…but not on their face but in my heart. Just right now…I m writing this and a customer comes and say look at the floor model…it is defective and all the stuff. I said that is why we are giving it cheaper. He says I will take it for $1500. is he out of his mind…the price tag is for $2100 after deduction. Hell I still have to charge him 15% of tax after $2100. He was saying he saw an Italian guy whos willing to sell him for $1600 and Sears store would give him 50% off because of defective piece and I m so pissed that I didn’t bother to reply. I was thinking go screw yourself and if that guy is offering you that why are you wasting both of our time here? Also why did he gave me his number and asked to think about the offer. Some people just want freebie. I am not running a charity….phew let me relax…take a deep breath…ahh that’s better. You cannot do anything…just smile at them and apologize…I hate interacting with such customers. Now where was i? Oh yea the usual nagging but I don’t want to write my sad story here. You people have your own problems and nobody wants to hear other guys problems unless they are sadist. But you know u can think well chee….that guy have so many probs…compare to him atleast I don’t have that much problem. It is indeed a motivational move but I oppose that approach. anyway if i write all the experience i had encountered with all the customers than probably all of you would fall sleep after reading first few lines. look at this way, it is a great way to get sleep. read my stories and i bet preety soon you would be yawning.

A question that hover inside my head

Do people show affection when they are not young? Like I m working in the mall right now and have noticed that only couples (young) held hands together, while old couples mostly with kids (I m not saying about those kids who are small but those who you would drool on…future firecracker) never held hands or embrace each other. So it’s like no caring ….u put up with me and I will put up with u? I do not think it might be the case but I m curious to know the reason behind this. I have nothing much to do on weekdays so I was thinking may be I would do a survey asking the reasons why they are not holding their hands together.

“Excuse me….do you have a moment?”
“Yes”
“Ah…I am doing a survey and thinking that why do old people don’t held their hands together?”
“Hahahahaha…..who knows”
Now that’s the kind of reaction I would want but somebody might frown at me or some other guy who just had a fight with his nagging wife decides to take all the anger on me and provides me with such bombastic vocabulary that I stand in amazement and impressed by the guys unquestionable knowledge of swears. All is good as long as nobody gets physical. But who would get physical but this question?

So the reason I m not doing this is one….i am lazy and if this was my thesis topic than it would be OK and I had to be in a shitty university with the professor’s IQ of 10 points who would allow me to do this topic. Anyway one is I am lazy and second is come on now…I got nothing better to do? Well its true that I got nothing better to do but I don’t want to show it to everybody. So I would appreciate any comments that why do people who are in the mid marriage don’t express their love? You know I am imagining myself holding hands with my girl friend but not after 10 years of marriage….i have no answer for this, perhaps somebody else might be kind enough to share their idea with me.