Fear

Fear…who doesn’t have it? There are lots of types of fears. Mine is facing the difficult situation. How many of you if have the option to opt out still stand and face it. I would like to count the raised hands. Ok you have raised your hands but think have you really stand your ground? Not standing really exasperates me. When ever I am facing a situation which I don’t like then my reaction is simple, to pass on the buck to somebody else. Atleast I don’t bury my head in the sand thinking since I can’t see the situation, it doesn’t exist. If given a chance, I would pass it on to somebody else before the other person has time to even say his name.

So I would think why can’t I step up to the plate?. In fact why is it that I am facing it? I was not always this deep thinker. In fact 2 years before I would hardly think what life is. I still search for a definition but I know its impossible to find it exactly because each one has their own meaning and view. But I vividly remember that when I was stoned smoking weed and thank god I had the presence to be in the bed and not to make fool of myself in front of others I was thinking something and what I thought really shocked me. I mean where did these thoughts come from? I never had thought about it before so how could it have come in my consciousness now. Perhaps it has slipped from my sub conscious. The thoughts were why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? I swear I felt like matrix where I felt that my body is here but actually I am not here. I am somewhere else (call it the soul or my real body) and I couldn’t shake off that feeling. I was so confused what is reality and in the early hours of morning when I became sobered did I realized that perhaps this is the reality and not what I was thinking. So my question is why do I get to face this situation. My reply is simple because we need to learn from it. Until I wont learn it, life will continue to teach me. Life is a tenacious teacher. It wont cut you any ropes. Until and unless you learn it, you will get it. It’s the law of attraction. The more you try to avoid it, the more you are focusing on it and what ever you are focusing on, you will get that only. Universe doesn’t know the no answer. We keep thinking I don’t get sick but universe doesn’t understand the denial statement. It sees that you are focusing on sickness so it will give you sickness. What we should do is focus on that I will remain healthy. Then we are focusing on health and we will get that.

Ok I have understood the meaning that life is trying to teach me to face the situation but I can’t do it. Passing the buck is easy and I get the guilty feeling but only for a succinct period. I feel guilty and then I would realize thank god I am not facing it and my guilt would vanish like the darkness with the prelude of light. Being aware is one thing. That is the first step. I have stepped the first step but the next step is where I am facing the difficulties. May be I have to bite the bullet and that would give me the confidence to face it the next time because running away from it is by no means any excuse or solution. Sooner or later I had to face it because not every time there would be some one to bail me out but let me try to face it when my back isn’t up to the wall. Atleast I could say that even when I had the choice, I still stood firm on my ground and faced it. How about you? What options do you choose when you are in unwanted situation and you have the choice to run away from it by leaving it to somebody else. May be its time for both of us to step up on the plate.