To Be or Not To Be

Famous lines by Sir. William Shakespeare. Never thought I would using these lines. Now its funny that after doing some meditation and yogas, I gravitate myself towards spirituality. Theres a great book called "Sayings by Shri Ramkrishnan". Now its a great book to read and one should read atleast 2 pages daily. I was reading and progressing well until i came to a chapter where shri Ramkrishnan says that in order to gain samadhi one has to abdicate gold and women. Now gold its easy for me to renounce as i dont have much right now and women, sure I dont have that many lined up or waiting for me. But Shri Ramkrishnan said that we have to see every women as The Divine Mother.

Oops for past week I am trying to do that and believe me its not working even one bit. Perhaps i would look at women as divine mother but that feeling wouldnt last long more than 5 seconds. Also physiological point of view the thing you resist, the more it comes to you and more focus you give on it. If somebody says dont look over there, by reflex you will look over there and it takes a lot of presence of mind and self effort not to look over there.

Shri Ramkrishnan gave advice that once you will renounce the feeling, it will be stronger and will come to you more than before but you have to persist. He followed it up by an example. Now one part of me wants to give up women, for a week i was successful because for a week i didnt go out much and never came upon any good looking chicks. So it helped me in keeping my focus. But on weekend everything i worked out fell into shackles. One look at fair damsel (make that group of fair damsels) and there goes all my efforts. Now i enjoyed looking chicks more than ever, its like you want a candy and then your parents denied you that pleasure and finally after so much persistence you got it. Think how wonderful that feeling would be. I felt like that and top of it i never felt guilty that this is something i am not supposed to do. The thing is to accept that we are human and its natural for us to look at women. Now its up to
women to interpret what kind of looks I am giving her.

So here I am at the crossroads wondering which path should I take? Divine mother path or appreciation for beauty path.