Indian politics down and dirty

I only know who Indias Prime Minister is, President and my states chief minister. Rest of the politicians are just name to me. Mostly and i do mean most of the time i really dont care whats going on around me as long as it is not effecting me. I have stopped reading newspaper because first theres too much negativity in it and i believe if i keep reading it then preety soon either i will be sleeping on the couch and looking at the ceiling of my shrinks office or any direful news wouldnt affect me in anyway. The best thing is to become ostrich and bury my head. I always have a passion for reading. In the doctors office ofcourse you have no choice but to read those old aging dying magazines they have and hope that you dont get an attack of asthma by picking the magazines. But suppose you go to a restaurant then obviously you would chat with your friends but i couldnt resist reading the menu even after ordering the stuff. I am reading because i like to read oblivious to the fact that i can understand it or not.

Like for instance i like reading about physics although i have taken commerce as my main stream of study and i know basic maths and statistics but no way those big alien language formulas you see in physics. I am still trying to understand quantum mechanics and after reading half of the article i give up because i gained as much knowledge from it as i had when i picked up that article. But still i like to read. My best time was when i was working in the mall at the furniture store. god that was blissful for me because i only had to attend customers when they came and it doesnt take a rocket scientist to conclude that you dont get that much rush in a furniture store compare to clothing store. So i would pile up 4-5 books and read and read and read until I hear someone calling for me and cursing myself not to notice the customer that came and asking me questions.

Where am i going with this? Look at the title and look at the tale i am spinning here. Politics everywhere is dirty and isnt confined only at national level. We hear words like office politics, corporate politics, politics among our friends and sometimes even in families. I think we should give new meaning to the word politics. It should be labeled as an infectious diseases to watch out for with mortality level of 99%. One should see indian politics and even in this era i get shocked by our politicians art work. In this field you need to be unethical with as much amount of morality that you can see through very powerful electronic microscope. Sometimes i feel for people sometimes i get angry at them. I feel because they have to suffer and get angry because even after experiencing first hand how they were chewed by our leaders still cheer for them. Democracy has a new meaning, do what you want. Freedom we say in more respected way. Its because of the works done by our leaders, they hyped up article by our media and seeing the suffering i gave up watching,reading or taking any interest in our politics. That is why you will find me the most ignorant person when it comes to politics. Let me think whos our Prime Minister. I know the name was on the tip of my tongue..............................

which world to live in during drinking

One way to escape reality for the time being is drinking. Another is going into meditation and third is dreaming when you are sleeping. Third one is not in our control. I am an occasional drinker and drink when occasion pleads me to do so. But whenever i drink i became more alert, usually its antithetic for others but here there is actually struggle going on in my mind. Its like I become more focused not to create a scene or not to say something which i am not supposed to say. Also one thing i have noticed is i become more polite and quiet when i am drinking. Now quiet i can understand as that is my nature. If some people like to yak yak and when they start drinking, god knows you would trade anything to get ear plugs or 3 days old smelly socks so that you can stuff that persons mouth.

So here I am drinking and getting high. Savoring those feelings but still cant let go all of my feelings or cant let myself drift into the wind. I actually try to control my actions which eventually dampens my high state of mind and which leads to nullify my objective for drinking. Its been 8 months since i have drank and i dont know but i dont feel like drinking at all. Even if occasion calls for, I still wouldnt drink. The idea in drinking is letting go and enjoying the waves but i cant seem to do that. Guess i am not cut out for drinking, what do you say?

To Be or Not To Be

Famous lines by Sir. William Shakespeare. Never thought I would using these lines. Now its funny that after doing some meditation and yogas, I gravitate myself towards spirituality. Theres a great book called "Sayings by Shri Ramkrishnan". Now its a great book to read and one should read atleast 2 pages daily. I was reading and progressing well until i came to a chapter where shri Ramkrishnan says that in order to gain samadhi one has to abdicate gold and women. Now gold its easy for me to renounce as i dont have much right now and women, sure I dont have that many lined up or waiting for me. But Shri Ramkrishnan said that we have to see every women as The Divine Mother.

Oops for past week I am trying to do that and believe me its not working even one bit. Perhaps i would look at women as divine mother but that feeling wouldnt last long more than 5 seconds. Also physiological point of view the thing you resist, the more it comes to you and more focus you give on it. If somebody says dont look over there, by reflex you will look over there and it takes a lot of presence of mind and self effort not to look over there.

Shri Ramkrishnan gave advice that once you will renounce the feeling, it will be stronger and will come to you more than before but you have to persist. He followed it up by an example. Now one part of me wants to give up women, for a week i was successful because for a week i didnt go out much and never came upon any good looking chicks. So it helped me in keeping my focus. But on weekend everything i worked out fell into shackles. One look at fair damsel (make that group of fair damsels) and there goes all my efforts. Now i enjoyed looking chicks more than ever, its like you want a candy and then your parents denied you that pleasure and finally after so much persistence you got it. Think how wonderful that feeling would be. I felt like that and top of it i never felt guilty that this is something i am not supposed to do. The thing is to accept that we are human and its natural for us to look at women. Now its up to
women to interpret what kind of looks I am giving her.

So here I am at the crossroads wondering which path should I take? Divine mother path or appreciation for beauty path.

Merging " I " into infinity

What i like about cats is that they hide whenever they get hurt or are dying unlike dogs who comes at you. I feel the same way. Many people when they are depressed or angry would like company in order to divert their focus from their problems. It is really a good idea but I dont feel comfortable with that. If i am angry then i dont want company cause i want to get my anger out and the poor guy whos giving me company willl have to face my wrath, neither i want them near me when i am depressed because i dont want to spoil their mood and i do feel guilty sulking and sitting there contributing nothing in their talks.

One other thing that annoys or infuriates me is to be aware but still not doing anything about it. Now most important thing is to be aware of your thoughts and emotions. They are the guiding system to your soul and body. If i am getting headache, my body is telling me that i am not aligning with my vibrations. The depressing thought is telling me that the more i am focusing on it, the more reality i am creating by keeping all my attention on that thought. Now i know that my thinking is creating new reality and ruining my present moment but i cant seem to stop it even though i am aware of my thoughts and its consequences. That my friends is the most infuriating thing you will ever come across.

The solution for that: Its easy, meditate, relax or do whatever that feels you happy. If you have pet, pat them and see how it brings smile on your face. Think of some funny incident and focus on that thought until u feel the feelings you had when you encountered that incident.

This other day only i was so angry and frustrated that i declined the offer to go out with my friend and have a cup of coffee. I wasnt in the mood for that and since i was angry i had to take it out. One cannot suppress it as it is more dangerous, those hidden emotions because then they go into your subconscious. So i had a shower which cooled me a little bit. Then i thought i will meet him outside for some chat so that it would be relaxing for me. I called him and he said we will meet when one other friend who at the moment is not in the town will come. So i said ok and there my ego came. I do whatever he wants and when he wants and when i need him he says no. Then he called and i was thinking whether i should accept the counter offer because i thought he might have known how i was feeling and was probably trying to cheer me up. He called to say lets go to the movies and my temper shot up. I said i wasnt in the mood and hanged up. Now for a week i am not going to meet him. The reason behind this is my ego. I understand it completely, being aware of it but its hard to change it or amend it. I have read many sayings of great people and they are asking us to be like a salt doll who when dropped in the ocean will dissolve and become one with the ocean. It will lose its individuality and existence and will become one same as dropping my ego and "I" i will become one with the universe.


Well it may happen but its not gonna happen this week as i m going to be true to my word by shunning out my friend. Lets see if it happens or not but this article is the best way of saying how not to do things. cheers

In search of God

Is there God or not? This argument is ceaseless. To me it all depends on your faith and belief. I got inspiration of this topic from a article i came upon. It had a joke where a customer goes into a barber shop and barber says that there is no god as if there would be then there wouldn't be any sick, dying people in the world. After the customer gets its hair done he sees a beggar outside with big matted hair and long beard and turns to the barber.

" You say there is no god and i say there is no barber"

"How can you say that? I am right in front of you"

"Well if there was barber then how come all the beggars have long hair and unshaved beard"

"In order to get their haircut done they have to come to me"

"Exactly, in order to see god you have to go to them"

Many many people would argue on this and just like the universe is made of matter and anti-matter, everything have two sides. Good and bad, light and dark, positive and negative are all part of our nature and all are equal. We have to learn to accept them instead of shunning out bad and seeking for good. How would we know what is good unless we have tasted the fruits of bad? How would we know what is light when we have never experienced darkness? Everybody has in their nature, inclination to see the cup half full or half empty. Now this is the kind of impulse you dont have your control over. Its natural for you but not enduring. You can change your view how you look at the situations, things that you encounter in your life. Some people are born skeptical and would argue until the end of this world. Sometimes i get frustrated because these are the people even though you convince them of your point instead of realising and understand the point, at the back of their mind they are thinking of the way to find another loophole in the logic, finding another way to prove that the game is still on. Now i just let it go and seriously sometimes get sympathetic as they are stuck in the spiteful vicious circle for which they only hold the key and they have to be aware to realise it.

A german guy once asked my Kriya Yoga Guru to prove that there is god. My guru asked him to prove that there is no god as he wants the proof. Now if we dont see doesnt mean that its not there. We dont see air but we feel it, we havent seen black hole but we know they do exist. Sri Ramkrishna very well said

"You see many stars in the sky at night, but not when the sun rises. Can you therefore say that there are no stars in the heavens during the day? O man, because you cannot find god in the days of your ignorance, say not that there is no god."

Just as we feel the air but cannot see it, when you invite god in your soul you would surely feel his presence. The key is to be open minded, to reach him just like the joke of barber and customer. Now I am just expressing my opinion and i am found the way to reach my god. The way has been shown to me, all i have to do is to start walking.

Let me ask you something. What would you say if i ask what do you think of our world? Most of them would say world is in dire, polluted ete cetra. We always say there is so much poverty and bad in this world, when did we say the world is so beautiful, it is so good and breathtaking? If you focus on problems instead of solutions, according to the law of attraction you will get and see poverty and suffering only. Lets not underline the problems why are we seeing the cup half empty?

Fire alarm

What should we do when we hear fire alarm? should we run or just wait for the smoke to reach us. i would say latter one. why unnecessary panic and run like a cat with dog at its tail? I have a funny incident to share. Generally there is fire alarm in your house and in the building. You can differentiate through the sound it emits. Also it used to ring whenever we used to cook something spicy and ofcourse one knows indian cooking...lots of spice and fried things and in winter who will keep the doors open to let the smoke out. so whenever it would start ringing in our house, our job was to stand under the detector and let the smoke out by waving to and fro a big towel underneath the detector. That night i was sleeping early and it started ringing ( around 2 AM) . I knew that it was the building alarm so i had to get out of my room to ofcourse evacuate the building. I came outside my room and what do i see? That the other guy with whom i was sharing my flat was waving a towel to and fro and that too in the dark and also under a light bulb instead of the detector and pardon my mistake it wasn't a towel but his under vest(i guess that was the first thing he got his hands onto). So i said it isn't our house alarm but a building alarm. He said is that right and i said yea and stop waving your vest under the light bulb. Poor guy was disoriented because he was in a deep sleep when the alarm began so didn't know where the detector was and where the bulb was. After getting my bearings i told him that A) Its a building alarm and B) Stop waving towel to bulb.

Sometimes people just ask you senseless questions. Now the question that this guy asked was What should we do? Now that was a toughie...ohh what to do? It wont take a world renowned physicist to come up with an answer and that is we leave the building of course. But going out and that too in -18 degree. Brrr but somehow i didnt want to take any chances. So we got our coat, hat, gloves and all the heavy stuff and went to the ground floor. Fire Marshals were already there and they were checking where fire is. It was surprising to see that only about 20 odd people came downstairs. I mean we were living on 6th floor and there were 11 floors so come to think of it atleast 200 people would be living and i know very few apartment were empty. My friend was calling for the elevator and i said we should go for the stairs. I heard some people leaving through stairs and that caught me in panic. I didnt want to be alone and left out. Now after reaching the ground floor i was annoyed. Didn't people take the fire alarm seriously? I mean no one wanted to die right. They all loved their life and still they were sleeping through all this racket and didnt bother to come down. After waiting for 20 mins we came to know it was a false alarm.

There goes my sleep as i am not a sound sleeper. Also once my sleep gets disturbed then may god have mercy on me and grant me some shut eye. Now i was just drifting to sleep what am i hearing again? u bet its the same annoying insisting fire alarm and now its 3 AM. I got up and sweared real loud. This wasnt happening to me. I have to go to work tomorrow and I dont need this. Again my friend came out and said what should we do? I said i m not going out unless i see some smoke. He said ok he will check it out and i slept on the front couch waiting for him. He said he was the only one with building superintendent. It looked like false alarm and again we slept. At some time again the alarm started ringing and i didnt bother to get out of my bed. I thought well i m not coming out even if smoke comes in. They have to break the apartment and take me.

Motto of the story. Dont be lazy when fire alarm rings. It was an old building and we had plenty of courage to live in it. No body had courage to walk inside the graveyard. Just kidding

Stronger than gravity....is thinking

Do you think it is true that THE MORE WE THINK THE MORE WE SINK. I cant recall where i read it but i read it somewhere. It said that the hardest question is why? You have all the answers for when, where,how and what? I mean you have the facts for this questions but not for why. so i have stopped thinking. Too much strain for my brain. Its like a quick sand. I already have a headache and dont want to push it more by thinking deep. Hell, i wish if i could stop thinking. Then again i would stop thinking about girls. Girls jeune fille those fine creatures, those angels who lure you in their trap..i dont want to describe more as some of the feminine species might object. "Object your honour", "Overruled". But lets not stereotype them. They too have sterotyped guys so they shouldnt complain either. I mean i am not stating any fact, just my opinion.

For past 3 days, I am not making any sales. Everytime my boss would call me around 6PM to ask what is happening. Today i had to laugh, cause he got the same response. Nothing, zero,zilch,nil, big fat egg. I feel sorry, for myself and for him. He is not making any sales and i am not lying properly. If you are a salesman, better be ready to go to hell. I dont believe in hell or heaven but in reincarnation. In my next life i will become a low creature. Lying to every customer.
"Is it grade 1 leather?"
"Yes sir, it is" ( a golden rule my boss told me, say yes for whatever they are asking for)
Every leather is grade 1 for us.
"Do you have it in stock"
"Sure sir, we have it in our warehouse"
There is nothing like this kind in our warehouse...we have to order it. hopefully we will get it early or more lies to the customer
"Could you order it in soft cushioning?"
"No problem"
Everything comes in soft cushioning. take it because we are not gonna ask the company to make it more soft or hard.

But hey, this thing doesnt happen everytime. so a word of caution. Dont think that you will get cheated everytime you are buying. we are not cheating. just presenting the facts in a different form. If this was happening everywhere then probably no one would dare to buy anything. Some of the things happen everywhere and we know it too. Like take the government for example. It is corrupted no matter which country it represents. You cant question their honesty because you dont have anything to question regarding their faithfullness towards their dying citizens. In their dictionary, they have no word as honesty. Ok, I may be going off track but the point is to me Ignorance is bliss. The more we know, more curious we become and we feel more thirsty for knowledge and the cycle goes on. There is no end as knowledge is unlimited. So be content with what you know. Why do you want to bother wondering why did you come to life and who am i? The bottom line is that you are here, so enjoy the life. Life is like an ice cream, eat it before it melts. Melting reminded me that it is preety hot over here.

One thing i like in summer is that the clothes gets shorter and shorter. You see more legs and hmm i would rather not write it over here. I think this is general but the less revealing there is, the more attractive we are to that. I mean if a girl is in bikini, it doesnt make a big difference because we can see her legs. You dont see her legs but focus on other parts. But if there is a girl wearing shorts or skirt and if she has nice legs than you would oogle on those legs. Your eyes wont see other things. The funny part is i read in an scientific article that its healthy to see womens breast. Their conclusion was if you see a girl's cleavage you get excitied and the heart pumps blood faster which cleans your blood faster resulting into lower blood pressure and other heart dieases. Hmm now who would have thought this? I like their thinking. Finding positive points in something which many of gals would find disrespectful. This kind of thinking reminds me of a joke

A teacher asked a student
"If there are 3 birds on a tree and you shot 1 than how many birds are left?"
The boy replied "None"
"How come?" asked the teacher
"Because if you shot 1 bird then the rest will get frightened and will fly away"
"Good, I like the way you think"
So the student asked the teacher "If there are 3 girls sitting on a bench, one is licking the ice cream, second is biting the icecream and third is sucking the ice cream, which one do you think is married?"
The teacher repled embarrassingly "The one who is licking?"
"No, the one who has the wedding ring on her finger but i like the way you think"

Customers are pest

Why are customers so picky? I want exactly this kind of stuff and I want it to be delivered exactly at this time….give me a break. I have to hear complains from all the sides. From my boss, customers and movers. Hear me out too….now where can I take my frustration out? My friend who works in jewellery dept told me show them the finger. Can I? I haven’t seen her showing the finger so I m not gonna do that but oh yea I can swear at them…but not on their face but in my heart. Just right now…I m writing this and a customer comes and say look at the floor model…it is defective and all the stuff. I said that is why we are giving it cheaper. He says I will take it for $1500. is he out of his mind…the price tag is for $2100 after deduction. Hell I still have to charge him 15% of tax after $2100. He was saying he saw an Italian guy whos willing to sell him for $1600 and Sears store would give him 50% off because of defective piece and I m so pissed that I didn’t bother to reply. I was thinking go screw yourself and if that guy is offering you that why are you wasting both of our time here? Also why did he gave me his number and asked to think about the offer. Some people just want freebie. I am not running a charity….phew let me relax…take a deep breath…ahh that’s better. You cannot do anything…just smile at them and apologize…I hate interacting with such customers. Now where was i? Oh yea the usual nagging but I don’t want to write my sad story here. You people have your own problems and nobody wants to hear other guys problems unless they are sadist. But you know u can think well chee….that guy have so many probs…compare to him atleast I don’t have that much problem. It is indeed a motivational move but I oppose that approach. anyway if i write all the experience i had encountered with all the customers than probably all of you would fall sleep after reading first few lines. look at this way, it is a great way to get sleep. read my stories and i bet preety soon you would be yawning.

A question that hover inside my head

Do people show affection when they are not young? Like I m working in the mall right now and have noticed that only couples (young) held hands together, while old couples mostly with kids (I m not saying about those kids who are small but those who you would drool on…future firecracker) never held hands or embrace each other. So it’s like no caring ….u put up with me and I will put up with u? I do not think it might be the case but I m curious to know the reason behind this. I have nothing much to do on weekdays so I was thinking may be I would do a survey asking the reasons why they are not holding their hands together.

“Excuse me….do you have a moment?”
“Yes”
“Ah…I am doing a survey and thinking that why do old people don’t held their hands together?”
“Hahahahaha…..who knows”
Now that’s the kind of reaction I would want but somebody might frown at me or some other guy who just had a fight with his nagging wife decides to take all the anger on me and provides me with such bombastic vocabulary that I stand in amazement and impressed by the guys unquestionable knowledge of swears. All is good as long as nobody gets physical. But who would get physical but this question?

So the reason I m not doing this is one….i am lazy and if this was my thesis topic than it would be OK and I had to be in a shitty university with the professor’s IQ of 10 points who would allow me to do this topic. Anyway one is I am lazy and second is come on now…I got nothing better to do? Well its true that I got nothing better to do but I don’t want to show it to everybody. So I would appreciate any comments that why do people who are in the mid marriage don’t express their love? You know I am imagining myself holding hands with my girl friend but not after 10 years of marriage….i have no answer for this, perhaps somebody else might be kind enough to share their idea with me.

Sleep...cant live without it ???

There are so many questions hovering inside my mind. First of all is how come i feel so much sleepy today when i wake up at 9:30 and the whole day i tried to "finish my thesis", notice i tried but didnt do it. In short the whole day i goofed doing nothing physical and still feel as if i have done so much work and now i need to sleep. Right now the time is 9:46 PM which isnt so bad is it? Not to forget that i got more than 8 hours of sleep yesterday. Also i am really glad that i dont have any girl friend or she would have dumped me long ago because she might be talking this time and i would be yawning. Although even if i wasnt so sleepy i would still yawn cause i find most of the girls talk rubbish. Its good their talks generally doesnt require any of your mental power. All you do is nod and say really or pretend that you are intrested in their talk while in the back of your mind you are undressing her. Hoping she doesnt pick such twinkle in my eyes but i hide it preety good. well cant stay any longer or i would sleep in front of this computer. cheers

Sickness make me appreciate life

Right now i am sick, meaning i am coming with cold and cough. When I was well, I have never appreciated my good health. I just took it for granted. But now after feeling sick, I miss my health and realise how I never enjoyed my healthy life. Now i wish the pain would stop and after my pain will stop, I will again appreciate my good health, but for how long? I remember i will appreciate it mostly for 15 minutes and maximum for 1 day. After that again taking health as granted. Isnt there similarity between life too? I mean may be I will appreciate the life when my life wont be there. But still i seriously doubt if i will realise this and start living and enjoying my life to the fullest. No hope for me but that doesnt mean that there wont be any hope for you guys. Learn from my lesson and better start appreciating all the things you have otherwise it might be too late. Dream but be satisfied in what you have. Right now just wishing i have my good health back. Pray i will get my health back, i will get it eventually but dont want to suffer in cold too long.

An opportunity missed !!!

In my last post "Trick or Treat...." i wondered or assumed that since I am running out of candies, hope I dont disappoint any girl's heart. Well it happened. I had only one candy left and I opened the door. 2 Fairies were standing there. Couldnt decide whom to look first and whom to look next. After coming to my senses, I told them that I got only 1 left and the girl on the right said that she wants it because she is more cool. The other girl laughed and we all joined in it. The girl who passed the comment took the candy and went away laughing and looking at me while i just stood there like a dumb bull with my eyes open and my mouth hanging. It was like time ceased to exit. I swear this was not my imagination but i couldnt hear anything, couldnt see anything except her and her laughter. Well she didnt accept my heart because i forgot to ask her to take and had to disappoint 1 girl. Guess this is life, you hope things wont happen that way and things happen as you predict.

"Trick or Treat" gets worse if you are home alone

Well my previous posts were very philosophical so now I am taking some things lightly. Today technically I am home alone and that too on October 31st night(Halloween night). We have a aunty here so we cant expect her to answer the door. Theres another roomie who refuses to open the door. So like a girl who is angry, he went upstairs to the room. So that left me and my other roomie. We agreed that we will answer the door turn by turn. Each time I get comfy, the door rings. I am hoping that some hot chick would turn out. In fact my friend got more lucky than i did. First i opened the door and vola, a good looking chick was there. She was nice but not as nice as the one my friend saw when he opened the door. Its hard to place candies on the bag of good looking chicks because its hard to focus on their bag when i am drooling over them. My eyes are set on them. Its also hard to differentiate which one is good and which not because all of them are wearing make up.

Keeping my finger crossed and also one more problem is coming up here. we are running out of candy. So uncle has gone out to get them. I hate to disappoint those kids who comes for treat and wont get them but my heart will break if some hot girl will come and i will have nothing to offer, wondering will she take my heart as a treat?

Life is what you think or perceive

What is life? According to me, there is no definition of life. For some people it's something they have and so they live, for some people its a gift and they enjoy. I came across both of these kind of people. Let me tell you that my perception of life is the former example I have given here, but most of time I think why can't I change my attitude towards life? Sometimes I get envy and sometimes I accept that this is what is in my fate and ask myself to learn and deal with this fact. But is it?

Nobody has said that this is your fate and accept it so why should I accept it instead of making my life better as everybody wants their life to be? So all you people who thinks life is there to get you, think again. I can't seem to understand the reason behind this thought "If you fail its fate and if you succeed its your luck". Hope is better word for it, dont lose hope and be positive. Everything can be changed, its just takes a little time but you cant expect miracles to happen(well you can but dont expect it sooner).

The Power OF NOW

Ever wonder why do we always stay in past and future. We think that we are living in present but in fact we are not. Just watch and you will know the truth. First of all i want you to do is to close your eyes and just watch which idea or thought comes to your mind. Just watch it but dont judge it. Did it come after a long time? well there you are...when you were watching or waiting for the thought you were in the state of presence. Mind as said is a great servant but a terrible master. If we dont watch our thoughts it sways to and fro. Just notice...it will either think about some event of the past or dreaming about future. That is the problem. We are not staying in the present. We are not enjoying the present...instead we are brooding in past or future.


I have noticed this and wondered how to stop this. I came across a book called "The power of now" which says just be a silent observer. Just watch our thoughts but dont judge it because if we judge it than we will be thinking about present or future. It says mind cannot stay in present and that is why it takes us back to past or future to keep himself alive. All the human emotion like ego,anger,love,happiness are the illusions created by mind to keep itself alive.