voyageur semblable

It was always a dream that some beau fille would sit next to me. Doesn’t matter where I am travelling. Ok, one part of my wish was fulfilled but the latter part of my dream is where I am still most despondent. Usually whenever I am sitting in a movie theatre, to my recollection no magnifique fille has ever sat next to me. So one time we three friends were watching this movie…I forgot the name of the movie…Will Smith was in it, it was movie about the virus where Will is the doctor trying to cure the virus….like I,Hero or something (no not I, Robot but I think I, Legend..yes I think that’s the name). Damn my memory. Anyway this gorgeous gal sat next to me and disturbed me. First putting her feet on me and knocking some of my popcorns. The one thing that annoys me is people coming late in the movie. She came late when the movie was already started so I was concentrating and she came blabbing and I turned to give her a mean look to convey her meaning that lady put a sock in it but as soon as I saw her visage I came to my established and natural mood that is forgiving. What you don’t believe it? Better believe it that my nature is forgiving. So the most natural thing was for me to check out who was with her. I saw a profile and the hair was short so I assumed must be her boyfriend. Damn my luck. She was a living testament to the power of dumb. Asking dumb questions to her partner and I guessed her partner was more dumb cause all I heard was grunt from him. I felt like I should answer all her questions, that way I would strike up a conversation. During the interval when lights came on and what do I see? That her partner is actually a gal with short hair. Merveilleux I have some chance. So I said to my friends now watch how I talk with the gal and after the interval I would be damned if the girl ever uttered a word. What was going on? This girl who couldn’t stop asking questions like gabbar singh is sitting behind her and saying “jitney saaval karagi utna waqt jiyagi” and now she has left her destiny to fate. Man that was a piss. So found a beau fille but couldn’t strike a conversation.

That’s not the only time. One of my dreams was that of course u guessed it, once again a beau fille would sit next to me on a plane. See on a plane, you cant run away and you are there for atleast 12 hours that gives plenty of time to get acquainted. I had certain magnetism towards window seat but not anymore, the reason, you have to ask your fellow passenger to move when you have to take a leak. So I was at the window seat, next to me was this beau fille dutch girl and next to her was this fat Chinese guy. As soon as she sat, I thought ok this is going to be my best trip. Usually I hate travelling in plane, its so boring but well well my starts have turned. So first thing I said is that “I hate when I get window seat because I have to ask you to move when ever my kidney gets full” and she in her heavy English accent says yes and that’s it, end of conversation. I keep making funny remarks but I wasn’t getting anywhere. I said to myself excellent bhavik, you have more chance of surviving if the plane crashes and you fall without parachute than with this babe. So I ask her and the fat guy to make some room so that I can go and take a piss which u could say about my mood too. Ah one thing felt good, getting my kidney empty and after 15 mins I bloody cant believe it, its full again as if I never visited the washroom. Oh oh what should I do now, its not gracious to ask them again to move but damn I cant hold it any longer. I see and both of them are sleeping. I hope lady luck didn’t hear my profanity, because I didn’t need any more piss from her. I had more than enough piss to handle her piss (puns included). At one time I had this notion where in the movie dumb and dumber jim carrey does with the beer bottle. But in a plane no way. A measure/ test of my resoluteness. The one hour I had to hold was pure agony, after a while as soon as this gal stirred, I asked her to wake up the Chinese guy and let me pass. Boy after the visit, I was so fatigued that even if that girl would try to start the conversation, I would have to put her off. My dream trip just turned out to be an excruciation trip.

Moral: never take a window seat in the plane, always opt for aisle seat and if things turns out ugly, do what jim carrey did in the movie dumb and dumber.